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Lying Officer

A police officer pulls a guy over for speeding and has the following exchange:

- Officer: May I see your driver’s license?
- Driver: I don’t have one. I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
- Officer: May I see the owner’s card for this vehicle?
- Driver: It’s not my car. I stole it.
- Officer: The car is stolen?
- Driver: That’s right. But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner’s card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.
- Officer: There’s a gun in the glove box?
- Driver: Yes sir. That’s where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.
- Officer: There’s a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?
- Driver: Yes, sir.

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by police, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation:

- Captain: Sir, can I see your license?
- Driver: Sure. Here it is.

- It was valid.

- Captain: Who’s car is this?
- Driver: It’s mine, officer. Here’s the owner’ card.

The driver owned the car.

- Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there’s a gun in it?
- Driver: Yes, sir, but there’s no gun in it.

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

- Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk? I was told you said there’s a body in it.
- Driver: No problem.

Trunk is opened; no body.

- Captain: I don’t understand it. The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn’t have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.
- Driver: Yeah, I’ll bet the lying S.O.B told you I was speeding, too…