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Do you know what “family” is?
Do you really understand what’s behind the word family? It gives me a shock after when I found out the answer. So long I never realize I don’t know the real meaning of family………. Here is the answer…….
FAMILY = (F)ather (A)nd (M)other, (I) (L)ove (Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE?
Because: W— Washing I— Ironing F— Food E— Entertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?
Because: H—Housing U—Understanding S—Sharing B—Buying A—and N—Never D—Demanding
Do you also know that a simple “hello” can be a sweet one, too? Especially for your loved ones. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).
The word HELLO means : H=How are you? E=Everything all right? L=Like to hear from you L=Love to see you soon! O=Obviously, I miss you …..
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Water vs. Coke
We all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before.
75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.
One glass of water shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
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COKE
No wonder coke tastes soooo good:
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and …….Let the “real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, Remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
FYI:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its Ph is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or a coke?
The One Dollar Bill
Take out a one-dollar bill and look at it. The one-dollar
bill you’re looking at first came off the presses in 1957
in its present design. This so-called paper money is in
fact a cotton and linen blend, with red and blue minute
silk fibers running through it. It is actually made of fabric.
We’ve all washed it without it falling apart. A special
blend of ink is used, the contents we will never know. It
is resistant and pressed to give it that nice crisp look.
If you look on the front of the bill, you will see the United States Treasury
Seal. On the top you will see the scales
for a balanced budget.
In the center you have a carpenter’s square, a tool used
for an even cut. Underneath is the Key to the United
States. That’s all pretty easy to figure out, but what is on
the back of that dollar bill is something we should all know.
If you turn the bill over, you will see two circles. Both
circles, together, comprise the Great Seal of the United States. The First
Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come
up with a
Seal. It took them four years to accomplish this task and another two years
to get it approved.
If you look at the left hand circle, you will see a Pyramid. Notice the face
is lighted and the western side is dark.
This country was just beginning. We had not begun to
explore the West or decided what we could do for
Western Civilization. The Pyramid is uncapped, again
signifying that we were not even close to being finished.
Inside the capstone you have the all-seeing eye, and
ancient symbol for divinity.
It was Franklin’s belief that one man couldn’t do it alone,
but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything. “IN GOD WE
TRUST” is on this currency. The Latin above
the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS means, “God has favored
our undertaking.” The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS
ORDO SECLORUM, means, “a new order has begun.” At
the base of the pyramid is the Roman numeral for 1776.
If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully,
you will learn that it is on every National Cemetery in the United States. It
is also on the Parade of Flags Walkway
at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery and is the centerpiece of most
heroes’ monuments.
Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the
United States and it is always visible whenever he speaks;
yet no one knows what the symbols mean.
The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for
two reasons:
1) He is not afraid of a storm; he is strong and
he is smart enough to soar above it.
2) He wears no material crown; we had just broken
from the King of England.
Also, notice the shield is unsupported. This country can
now stand on its own. At the top of that shield you have
a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together
as one nation.
In the Eagle’s beak you will read, “E PLURIBUS UNUM,” meaning “one nation
from many people.”
Above the Eagle you have thirteen stars representing
the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling
away. Again, we were coming together as one.
Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons. He holds an
olive Branch and arrows. This country wants peace, but
we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace. The
Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time
of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows.
They say that the number 13 is an unlucky number. This is almost a worldwide
belief. You will usually never see a
room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th
floor.
But, think about this:
13 original colonies,
13 signers of the Declaration of Independence,
13 stripes on our flag,
13 steps on the Pyramid,
13 letters in the Latin above,
13 letters in “E PLURIBUS UNUM”,
13 stars above the eagle,
13 plumes of feathers on each span of the Eagle’s wing,
13 bars on that shield,
13 leaves on the olive branch,
13 fruits, and if you look closely, 13 arrows.
And for minorities: the 13th Amendment.
Why don’t we know this? Your children don’t know this
and their history teachers don’t know this. Too many
veterans have given up too much to ever let the
meaning fade. Many veterans remember coming home
to an America that didn’t care. Too many veterans
never came home at all. Tell everyone what is on the
back of the one-dollar bill and what it stands for,
because nobody else will.
IDIOTS & RETAILING
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she would not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP ‘Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees’: “Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.”
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
AN IDIOT’S IDIOT
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
Do you lick envelopes to seal them?
If you lick your envelopes…You won’t anymore!!!!!
A woman was working in a post office in California, one day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope.
A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything.
A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done.
The doctor, took an x-ray of her tongue, and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live roach crawled out. There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist.
This is a true story reported on CNN
Andy Hume wrote:
Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn’t believe the things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven’t licked an envelope for years.
Interesting Facts
1.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
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2.If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
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3.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
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4.A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
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5.A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
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6.Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
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7.The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
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8.The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
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9.The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
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10.Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
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11.Butterflies taste with their feet.
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12.The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
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13.Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
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14.Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
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15.A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
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16.An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
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17.Star fish have no brains.
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18.Polar bears are left-handed.
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19.Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
Only in America
1. Only in America……can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America……are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America……do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America……do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
5. Only in America……do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America……do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.
7. Only in America……do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won’t miss a call from someone we didn’t want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America……do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America……do we use the word ‘politics’ to describe the process so well: ‘Poli’ in Latin meaning ‘many’ and ‘tics’ meaning ‘bloodsucking creatures’.
10. Only in America……do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.
THE 2000 FEDERAL CENSUS FOR THE SOUTH
Last name: ________________
First name: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Billy-Bob
(_) Billy-Joe
(_) Billy-Ray
(_) Billy-Sue
(_) Billy-Mae
(_) Billy-Jack
What does everyone call you?
(_) Booger
(_) Bubba
(_) Junior
(_) Sissy
(_) Other___________________
Age: ____ (if unsure, guess)
Sex: ____ M _____ F _____ Not sure
Shoe Size: ____ Left ____ Right
Occupation: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Farmer
(_) Mechanic
(_) Hair Dresser
(_) Unemployed
(_) Dirty Politician
(_) Preacher
Spouse’s Name:_________________________
2nd Spouse’s Name:______________________
3rd Spouse’s Name:______________________
Lover’s Name:___________________________
Relationship with spouse: (Check appropriate box)
(_) Sister
(_) Brother
(_) Aunt
(_) Uncle
(_) Cousin
(_) Mother
(_) Father
(_) Son
(_) Daughter
(_) Pet
Number of children living in household: _____
Number of children living in shed: ______
Number that are yours: ______
Mother’s Name: _______________________(If not sure, leave blank)
Father’s Name: _______________________ (If not sure, leave blank)
Education: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
Do you (_) own or (_) rent your mobile home? (Check appropriate box)
Total number of vehicles you own: ___
Number of vehicles that still crank: ___
Number of vehicles in front yard: ___
Number of vehicles in back yard: ___
Number of vehicles on cement blocks: ___
Firearms you own and where you keep them:
____ truck
____ bedroom
____ bathroom
____ kitchen
____ shed
Model and year of your pickup: 196_
Do you have a gun rack?
(_) Yes (_) No; If no, please explain:
Newspapers/magazines you subscribe to:
(_) The National Enquirer
(_) The Globe
(_) TV Guide
(_) Soap Opera Digest
(_) Rifle and Shotgun
Number of times you’ve seen a UFO:_____
Number of times in the last 5 years you’ve seen Elvis:_____
Number of times you’ve seen Elvis in a UFO:_____
How often do you bathe:
(_) Weekly
(_) Monthly
(_) Not Applicable
Color of eyes:
Left______ Right_____
Color of hair:
(_) Blond
(_) Black
(_) Red
(_) Brown
(_) White
(_) Clairol
Color of teeth:
(_) Yellow
(_) Brownish-Yellow
(_) Brown
(_) Black
(_) N/A
Brand of chewing tobacco you prefer:
(_)Red-Man
How far is your home from a paved road?
(_) 1 mile
(_) 2 miles
(_) just a whoop-and-a-holler
(_) road?
Yo Mama So Stupid…
Yo mama is so stupid it took her an hour to make minute rice
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes
Yo mama so stupid when she saw the NC-17 (under 17 not admitted) sign, she went home and got 16 friends
Yo mama so stupid when your dad said it was chilly outside, she ran outside with a spoon
Yo mama so stupid she told everyone that she was “illegitiment” because she couldn’t read
Yo mama so stupid that she puts lipstick on her head just to make-up her mind
Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid you have to dig for her IQ!
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama so stupid that she tried to put M&M’s in alphabetical order!
Yo mama so stupid she could trip over a cordless phone!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks a quarterback is a refund!
Yo mama so stupid she took a cup to see Juice.
Yo mama so stupid that she sold the car for gas money.
Yo mama so stupid she asked you “What is the number for 911″
Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Yo mama so stupid when she read on her job application to not write below the dotted line she put “O.K.”
Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out.
Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread.
Yo mama so stupid she took a spoon to the superbowl.
Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back.
Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners.
Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif.
Yo mama so stupid when you stand next to her you hear the ocean!
Yo mama so stupid she hears it’s chilly outside so she gets a bowl
Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!
Yo mama so stupid she thinks Fleetwood Mac is a new hamburger at McDonalds!
Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV, and watches the couch!
Yo mama so stupid that she thought Boyz II Men was a day care center.
Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home.
Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead.
Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up.
Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund.
Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain.
Yo mama so stupid that under “Education” on her job apllication, she put “Hooked on Phonics.”
Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house.
Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead, talking about she was trying to makeup her mind.
Yo mama so stupid she watches “The Three Stooges” and takes notes.
YO MAMA SO FAT…
Yo mama so fat her belt size is the equator
Yo mama so fat she wears a VCR for a pager
Yo mama so fat the earth revolves around her
Yo mama so fat she orders her clothes from Omar the tent maker
Yo mama so fat when she stands on a scale it sais ‘to be continued…’
Yo mama so fat when she jumps in the air she gets stuck
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own zip code
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a dollar and made change
Yo mama so fat after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Yo mama so fat she fell, broke her ankle and gravy spilled out
Yo mama so fat I told her it was chilly outside and she ran and got a bowl
Yo mama so fat she could drive a bus with handlebars
Yo mama so fat she uses Nissan hard bodies as roller skates
Yo mama so fat she uses a boomerang to put her belt on
Yo mama so fat her blood type is rocky road
Yo mama so fat she gets her toe nails painted at Earl Shieb
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her…
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear “Caution! Wide Turn”
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please”
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don’t do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn’t light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago…
Yo mama so fat she’s got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk – white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington’s nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she’s wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn’t cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD’s and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington’s nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean…..
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, “Who threw that rock?”
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn’t have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
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