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Awesome BMX Travel Videos by Danny MacAskill
posted by The_Web_Joker @ 9:22 AM
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
(0 Comments)
Birthday colors…
Look up your birth date, get the color, and scroll to the bottom
to see
what that color means.
If your birthday is on……
December 23rd~ January 1st = Red
January 2nd ~ January 11th = Orange
January 12th ~ January 24th = Yellow
January 25th ~ February 3rd = Pink
February 4th ~ February 8th = Blue
February 9th ~ February 18th = Green
February 19th ~ February 28th = Brown
February 1st ~ March 10th = Aqua
March 11th ~ March 20th = Lime
March 21st = Black
March 22nd ~ March 31st = Purple
April 1st ~ April 10th = Navy
April 11th ~ April 20th = Silver
April 21st ~ April 30th = White
May 2st ~ May 14th = Blue
May 15th ~ May 24th = Gold
May 25th ~ June 3rd = Cream
June 4th ~ June 13th = Grey
June 14th ~ June 23rd = Maroon
June 24th = Grey
June 25th ~ July 4th = Red
July 5th ~ July 14th = Orange
July 15th ~ July 25th = Yellow
July 26th ~ August 4th = Pink
August 5th ~ August 13th = Blue
August 14th ~ August 23rd = Green
August 24th ~ September 2nd = Brown
September 3rd ~ Septemeber 12th = Aqua
September 13th ~ September 22nd = Lime
September 23rd = Olive
September 24th ~October 3rd = Purple
October 4th ~ October 13th = Navy
October 14th ~ October 23rd = Silver
October 24th ~November 11th = White
November 12th ~ November 21st = Gold
November22nd ~ December 1st = Cream
December 2nd ~ December 11th = Grey
December 12th~ December 21st = Maroon
December 22nd = Teal
*RED*
Cute and lovable type, You are picky but
always in love…and like to be loved.
Fresh and cheerful, but can be “moody” at
times. Capable with people, nice, soft, and
people can love you for the way you are.
Likes people that are easy to talk to,
and can make you feel comfortable.
*CREAM*
Competitive and sporty. Don’t like losing and
always cheerful! You are trustworthy, and very
out-going. You choose love carefully, and don’t fall
in love easily. But once you find the right one,
you don’t let go for a long,long time.
*TEAL*
You are mostly interested in your looks.
And have high standards in picking love.
You think and make a solution precisely,
and hardly make stupid mistakes. You like
to lead, and is easy for you to make new friends.
*GREY*
You are attractive, and active. You never
hide your feelings, and express everything
that’s inside. But can be selfish at times.
You want to be noticed, and don’t like to
be treated unequally. You can brighten up
people’s day. You know what to say at the
right time, and you have a good sense of humour.
*GREEN*
You get along well with new people. You are not
really a shy person, but sometimes you can hurt
people’s feelings by your words… You like to be
loved and noticed by your lover, but mostly you are
single, waiting for theright person.
*GOLD*
You know what’s right and what’s wrong.
You arecheerful and out-going.
It’s hard for you to find the one you want,
but once you find the right person,
you won’t be able to fall in love again
for a long time.
*PINK*
You are always trying your best in
everything, and like to help and care
for other people. But you are not easily
satisfied. You have negative thoughts,
and you look for romantic love like in a
fairytale.
*YELLOW*
You are sweet and innocent. Trusted by
many people, and have a strong leadership
towards relationships. You make good
decision and make the right choice at the
right time. And always dreaming of
romantic relationship.
*MAROON*
You are intelligent, and know what’s
right. You like to make things go your
way, which can sometimes cause trouble
for not thinking about other people’s
feelings. But you are patient when it
comes to love… Once you get a hold
of the right person, it’s hard for you to
find a better love.
*ORANGE*
You are responsible for your own actions,
and you know how to treat people.You always
have goals to reach, and are competitive.
When it comes to friendship, you find it hard
once you find the right friend, you trust them for ever.
*PURPLE*
You are mysterious, never selfish and get
interested in things easily. Your
day can be sad or happy depending on your
mood. You are popular between
friends but you can act stupid at times,
and forget things easily. You go
por person that’s trustworthy.
*LIME*
You are calm, but easily stressed out.
You get jealous easily, and complain
over little things. You can’t get stuck
into one thing, but you have a
capable personality for everyone to trust
you andlike you.
*SILVER*
You are imaginative and shy, but you like
trying new things. You like to
challenge yourself. You learn things
easily, and like “Hard to get”. Your
love life is normally hard and confusing.
*BLACK*
You are challenging, and have the “guts”.
But you don’t like changes in your life.
And once you make a decision, you
keep itthat way for a long time.
Your love life is also challenging, and
different.
*OLIVE*
You are warm and light hearted. You seem
to flow well with friends and family. You
don’t like violence and know what’s
right. You are kind and cheerful, but don’t
envy other people easily.
*BROWN*
You are active and sporty. It’s hard for
other people to become close with you,
but you fall in love easily. But
once you find out you can’t get something,
you give up and let go easily as well.
*BLUE*
You have low self-esteem, and very picky.
You are artistic and like to fall in love,
but you let your love pass by,by loving
with your mind, not your heart.
*NAVY*
You are attractive, and love your life.
You have a strong feeling towards
everything. And very easily distracted.
Once you get angry at someone, it’s
hard for you to forgive them.
*WHITE*
You dream and have goals in your life.
You get jealous easily and you don’t
react to things easily. You are different
and sometimes thought highly by others.
*AQUA*
Your feelings change suddenly and easily.
You are always lonely, and like travelling.
You are truthful, but listen and believe other
people too easily. It’s hard to find love for you,
and you get lost in love easily,
Sometimes you get hurt by love.
A modern day cowboy
A modern day cowboy has spent many days crossing the Saskatchewan prairies without water.
His horse has already died of thirst.He’s crawling along the dusty ground, certain that he has breathed his last breath, when all of a sudden he sees an object sticking out of the ground several yards ahead of him. He crawls to the object, pulls it out of the ground and discovers what looks to be an old briefcase.
He opens it and out pops a genie. But this is no ordinary genie. She is wearing a Revenue Canada ID badge and a dull grey dress. There’s a calculator in her pocketbook. She has a pencil tucked behind one ear. ‘Well, cowboy,’ says the genie..You know how I work….You have three wishes.’
‘I’m not falling for this.’ said the cowboy… ‘I’m not going to trust a Revenue Canada genie.’ ‘What do you have to lose? You’ve got no transportation and it looks like you’re a goner anyway!’
The cowboy thinks about this for a minute and decides that the
genie is right. OK!, I wish I were along-side a lush spring with plenty of food and drink.’
***POOF***
The cowboy finds himself beside the most beautiful spring he has ever seen And he is surrounded with jugs of wine and platters of delicacies. OK, cowpoke, what’s your second wish.’ ‘My second wish is that I was rich beyond my wildest dreams.’
** *POOF***
The cowboy finds himself surrounded by treasure chests filled with rare gold coins and precious gems. OK, cowpuncher, you have just one more wish. Better make it a good one!’
After thinking for a few minutes, the cowboy says… I wish that no matter where I go, beautiful women will want and need me.’
***POOF***
He was turned into a tampon. Moral of the story: If the government offers to help you, there’s going to be a string
attached.
A Young Ventriloquist
A young ventriloquist was doing his show at a small comedy club in Texas. With his dummy on his knee, he started going through his repertoire of blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the first row shouted:
“I’ve heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What does the color of a person’s hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It’s guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as a person. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against ! not only blondes, but women in general… and all in the name of humor!”
The stunned ventriloquist began to apologize, and the blonde yelled, “You stay out of this, mister! I’m talking to that little brat on your knee.”
An Irish Cabbie
One rainy spring night in Belfast, a taxi driver spotted an arm waving from the shadows of an alley. Even before he rolled to a stop at the curb, a figure leaped into the cab and slammed the door.Checking his rear view mirror as he pulled away, he was startled to see a dripping wet, naked woman sitting in the back seat.
‘”Where to?” he stammered. “Vale Road,” answered the woman.”OK,” he said, taking another long glance in the mirror.
The woman caught him staring at her and asked, “Just what the hell are you looking at?’” “Well lady, replied the driver, I noticed that you’re completely naked,and I was just wondering how you’ll pay your fare.”
The woman spread her legs, put her feet up on the front seat, smiled at the driver and said, “Does THIS answer your question?” Still looking in the mirror, the cabbie asked, “Got anything smaller?
YO MAMA SO FAT…
Yo mama so fat her belt size is the equator
Yo mama so fat she wears a VCR for a pager
Yo mama so fat the earth revolves around her
Yo mama so fat she orders her clothes from Omar the tent maker
Yo mama so fat when she stands on a scale it sais ‘to be continued…’
Yo mama so fat when she jumps in the air she gets stuck
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own zip code
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a dollar and made change
Yo mama so fat after sex I rolled over twice and was still on the bitch!
Yo mama so fat she fell, broke her ankle and gravy spilled out
Yo mama so fat I told her it was chilly outside and she ran and got a bowl
Yo mama so fat she could drive a bus with handlebars
Yo mama so fat she uses Nissan hard bodies as roller skates
Yo mama so fat she uses a boomerang to put her belt on
Yo mama so fat her blood type is rocky road
Yo mama so fat she gets her toe nails painted at Earl Shieb
Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up
Yo mama so fat her nickname is “Lardo”
Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.
Yo mama so fat were in her right now
Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise
Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone
Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors
Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her…
Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!
Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!
Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says “okay!”
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller
Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear “Caution! Wide Turn”
Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!
Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read “one at a time, please”
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don’t do livestock.
Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!
Yo mama so fat she’s got her own area code!
Yo mama so fat she looks like she’s smuggling a Volkswagon!
Yo mama so fat God couldn’t light Earth until she moved!
Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!
Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!
Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago…
Yo mama so fat she’s got Amtrak written on her leg.
Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn’t pay for her liposuction!
Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk – white & chunky!
Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!
Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!
Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington’s nose.
Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!
Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!
Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!
Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!
Yo mama so fat she’s got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!
Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!
Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!
Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!
Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!
Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!
Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!
Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she’s wearin tights!
Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!
Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!
Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!
Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.
Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say “Taxi!”
Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!
Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!
Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th
Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too
Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!
Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.
Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can’t hear the stereo.
Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping
Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.
Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.
Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.
Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.
Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.
Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.
Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.
Yo mama so fat she’s on both sides of the family!
Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.
Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn’t cover her
Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.
Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.
Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.
Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family
Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through
Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.
Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.
Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.
Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.
Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!
Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an aerial.
Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water
Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out
Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth
Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures
Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.
Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD’s and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.
Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington’s nose.
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.
Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.
Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean…..
Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.
Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.
Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.
Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.
Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.
Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, “Who threw that rock?”
Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!
Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn’t have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet.
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