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Posts Tagged ‘Blondes’
Where Are We?
Two tourists were driving through Louisiana.
As they were approaching Natchitoches, they started arguing about the pronunciation of the town. They argued back and forth until they stopped for lunch.
As they stood at the counter, one tourist asked the blonde employee, “Before we order, could you please settle an argument for us? Would you please pronounce where we are…very slowly?”
The blonde girl leaned over the counter and said, “Burrrrrrrr, gerrrrrrr, Kiiiiing.
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Head & Shoulders
A blonde and a brunette are both in an elevator. On the third floor a man gets on who’s perfect:
Italian suit, handsome, great build with a nice butt, but unfortunately they both notice he has a bad case of dandruff. The man gets off on the 5th floor.
Once the doors close, the brunette turns to the blonde and says, “Someone should give him Head & Shoulders.”
To which the blonde replies, “How do you give Shoulders?”
A blonde woman named Brandi finds herself in dire trouble. Her business has gone bust and she’s in a serious financial mess. She’s so desperate that she decides to ask God for help. She begins to pray, “God, please help me… I’ve lost my business and I’m going to lose my house as well. Please let me win the lotto…”
Lotto night comes and she is devastated when someone else wins it. Brandi prays again…
“God, please let me win the lotto! I’ve lost my business, my house, and I’m going to lose my car as well…”
Lotto night comes and Brandi still has absolutely no luck. Once again, she prays.
“My God, why have you forsaken me?! I’ve lost my business, my house, and my car. My children are very hungry. I don’t often ask for you to help and I am a constant good servant for you… PLEASE just let me win the lotto this ONE time so I can get my life back in order…”
Suddenly there is a blinding flash of light as the heavens open and Brandi is confronted by the voice of God Himself…
“WORK WITH ME HERE BRANDI, BUY A TICKET.”
Blondes going to Disneyland
Becky and Linda, two blondes from Indiana were headed cross country to go to Disneyland, they happiest place on earth.
They endured more problems than anyone trying to get there; bad weather, sleepless nights in sleezy motels, truckers chasing them on the highways, a few fender benders but they finally made it to California.
Screaming for joy as they drove down the 5 freeway, they started singing Mickey Mouse songs readying themselves for all the magic.
They finally got off the freeway, they were practically there!
Linda! screams the driver, look for signs!
Linda starts crying uncontrollably and says Disneyland left! now we have to go home…
“Blonde” Construction Company
A couple wants their house repainted so they look through the phone book and call the most affordable painting contractor to give them a bid, “Blonde” Construction Company.
“I want the living room and the bedrooms white,” the wife explains…
The crew leader nods and writes it down on her barbie notebook; all of the sudden she goes to the window and yells: “Green side up, girls!”
“Excuse me, but who are you talking to?” says the couple.
“Oh, I have four blonde crew members laying sod across the street…”
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