
Yodeling
Have you ever wondered where and how yodeling began? Switzerland? Italy? France? Most believe it originated in Switzerland, but here’s the real version.
Many years ago a man was traveling through the mountains of Switzerland. Nightfall was rapidly approaching and he had nowhere to sleep. He went up to a farmhouse and asked the farmer if he could spend the night. The farmer told him that he could sleep in the barn.
As the story goes, the farmer’s daughter came down from upstairs and asked her father, “Who is that man going into the barn?”
“That’s some fellow traveling through,” said the farmer. “He needs a place to stay for the night, so I said he could sleep in the barn.”
The daughter said, “Perhaps he is hungry.” So she prepared him a plate of food and took it out to the barn.
About an hour later, the daughter returned. Her clothing was disheveled and there was straw in her hair. Straight up to bed she went.
The farmer’s wife was very observant. She then suggested that perhaps the man was thirsty. So she fetched a bottle of wine, took it out to the barn, and she too did not return for an hour. Her clothing was askew, her blouse buttoned incorrectly and her hair was all messed up. She also headed straight to bed.
The next morning at sunrise the man in the barn got up and continued on his journey, waving to the farmer as he left.
When the daughter awoke and learned that the visitor was gone, she broke into tears. “How could he leave without even saying good-bye” she cried. “We made such passionate love last night!”
“What?” shouted the father as he angrily ran out of the house looking for the man, who by now was halfway up the mountain.
The farmer screamed up at him, “I’m going to get you! You had sex with my daughter!”
The man looked back down from the mountainside, cupped his hand next to his mouth, and yelled out:
“LAIDTHEOLADEETOO”
Do you know what “family” is?
Do you really understand what’s behind the word family? It gives me a shock after when I found out the answer. So long I never realize I don’t know the real meaning of family………. Here is the answer…….
FAMILY = (F)ather (A)nd (M)other, (I) (L)ove (Y)ou
WHY does a man want to have a WIFE?
Because: W— Washing I— Ironing F— Food E— Entertainment
WHY does a woman want to have a HUSBAND?
Because: H—Housing U—Understanding S—Sharing B—Buying A—and N—Never D—Demanding
Do you also know that a simple “hello” can be a sweet one, too? Especially for your loved ones. (I mean not only from the boyfriend/girlfriend).
The word HELLO means : H=How are you? E=Everything all right? L=Like to hear from you L=Love to see you soon! O=Obviously, I miss you …..
Water vs. Coke
We all know that water is important but I’ve never seen it written down like this before.
75% of Americans are chronically dehydrated.
In 37% of Americans, the thirst mechanism is so weak that it is often mistaken for hunger.
Even MILD dehydration will slow down one’s metabolism as much as 3%.
One glass of water shut down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a U-Washington study.
Lack of water, the #1 trigger of daytime fatigue.
Preliminary research indicates that 8-10 glasses of water a day could significantly ease back and joint pain for up to 80% of sufferers.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen or on a printed page.
Drinking 5 glasses of water daily decreases the risk of colon cancer by 45%, plus it can slash the risk of breast cancer by 79%, and one is 50% less likely to develop bladder cancer.
Are you drinking the amount of water you should every day?
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COKE
No wonder coke tastes soooo good:
1. In many states (in the USA) the highway patrol carries two gallons of Coke in the truck to remove blood from the highway after a car accident.
2. You can put a T-bone steak in a bowl of coke and it will be gone in two days.
3. To clean a toilet: Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl and …….Let the “real thing” sit for one hour, then flush clean The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
4. To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers: Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
5. To clean corrosion from car battery terminals: Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
6. To loosen a rusted bolt: Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
7. To bake a moist ham: Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan, wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, Remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
8. To remove grease from clothes: Empty a can of coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains. It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
FYI:
1. The active ingredient in Coke is phosphoric acid. Its Ph is 2.8. It will dissolve a nail in about 4 days.
2. To carry Coca-Cola syrup (the concentrate) the commercial truck must use the Hazardous material place cards reserved for Highly corrosive materials.
3. The distributors of coke have been using it to clean the engines of their trucks for about 20 years!
Now the question is, would you like a glass of water or a coke?
The One Dollar Bill
Take out a one-dollar bill and look at it. The one-dollar
bill you’re looking at first came off the presses in 1957
in its present design. This so-called paper money is in
fact a cotton and linen blend, with red and blue minute
silk fibers running through it. It is actually made of fabric.
We’ve all washed it without it falling apart. A special
blend of ink is used, the contents we will never know. It
is resistant and pressed to give it that nice crisp look.
If you look on the front of the bill, you will see the United States Treasury
Seal. On the top you will see the scales
for a balanced budget.
In the center you have a carpenter’s square, a tool used
for an even cut. Underneath is the Key to the United
States. That’s all pretty easy to figure out, but what is on
the back of that dollar bill is something we should all know.
If you turn the bill over, you will see two circles. Both
circles, together, comprise the Great Seal of the United States. The First
Continental Congress requested that Benjamin Franklin and a group of men come
up with a
Seal. It took them four years to accomplish this task and another two years
to get it approved.
If you look at the left hand circle, you will see a Pyramid. Notice the face
is lighted and the western side is dark.
This country was just beginning. We had not begun to
explore the West or decided what we could do for
Western Civilization. The Pyramid is uncapped, again
signifying that we were not even close to being finished.
Inside the capstone you have the all-seeing eye, and
ancient symbol for divinity.
It was Franklin’s belief that one man couldn’t do it alone,
but a group of men, with the help of God, could do anything. “IN GOD WE
TRUST” is on this currency. The Latin above
the pyramid, ANNUIT COEPTIS means, “God has favored
our undertaking.” The Latin below the pyramid, NOVUS
ORDO SECLORUM, means, “a new order has begun.” At
the base of the pyramid is the Roman numeral for 1776.
If you look at the right-hand circle, and check it carefully,
you will learn that it is on every National Cemetery in the United States. It
is also on the Parade of Flags Walkway
at the Bushnell, Florida National Cemetery and is the centerpiece of most
heroes’ monuments.
Slightly modified, it is the seal of the President of the
United States and it is always visible whenever he speaks;
yet no one knows what the symbols mean.
The Bald Eagle was selected as a symbol for victory for
two reasons:
1) He is not afraid of a storm; he is strong and
he is smart enough to soar above it.
2) He wears no material crown; we had just broken
from the King of England.
Also, notice the shield is unsupported. This country can
now stand on its own. At the top of that shield you have
a white bar signifying congress, a unifying factor. We were coming together
as one nation.
In the Eagle’s beak you will read, “E PLURIBUS UNUM,” meaning “one nation
from many people.”
Above the Eagle you have thirteen stars representing
the thirteen original colonies, and any clouds of misunderstanding rolling
away. Again, we were coming together as one.
Notice what the Eagle holds in his talons. He holds an
olive Branch and arrows. This country wants peace, but
we will never be afraid to fight to preserve peace. The
Eagle always wants to face the olive branch, but in time
of war, his gaze turns toward the arrows.
They say that the number 13 is an unlucky number. This is almost a worldwide
belief. You will usually never see a
room numbered 13, or any hotels or motels with a 13th
floor.
But, think about this:
13 original colonies,
13 signers of the Declaration of Independence,
13 stripes on our flag,
13 steps on the Pyramid,
13 letters in the Latin above,
13 letters in “E PLURIBUS UNUM”,
13 stars above the eagle,
13 plumes of feathers on each span of the Eagle’s wing,
13 bars on that shield,
13 leaves on the olive branch,
13 fruits, and if you look closely, 13 arrows.
And for minorities: the 13th Amendment.
Why don’t we know this? Your children don’t know this
and their history teachers don’t know this. Too many
veterans have given up too much to ever let the
meaning fade. Many veterans remember coming home
to an America that didn’t care. Too many veterans
never came home at all. Tell everyone what is on the
back of the one-dollar bill and what it stands for,
because nobody else will.
IDIOTS & RETAILING
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk noticed that I had never signed my name on the back of the credit card. She informed me that she would not complete the transaction unless the card was signed. When I asked why, she explained that it was necessary to compare the signature on the credit card with the signature I just signed on the receipt. So I signed the credit card in front of her. She carefully compared that signature to the one I signed on the receipt. As luck would have it, they matched.
ADVICE FOR IDIOTS
An actual tip from page 16 of the HP ‘Environmental, Health & Safety Handbook for Employees’: “Blink your eyelids periodically to lubricate your eyes.”
IDIOTS & COMPUTERS
My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who had this question: “I’ve got smoke coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire downtown?”
IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the individual behind the counter for “minimal lettuce.” He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.
AN IDIOT’S IDIOT
Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine. The message “He’s lying” was placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn’t telling the truth. Believing the “lie detector” was working, the suspect confessed.
Microsoft vs. General Motors
At a recent computer expo, Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
“If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon.”
In response to Bill’s comments, Mr. Welch of General Motors issued a press release stating. If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:
1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.
2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.
3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.
4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.
5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought “Car95″ or ” CarNT.” But then you would have to buy more seats.
6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but
would only run on five percent of the roads.
7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning light would be replaced by a single “general car default” warning light.
8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
9. The airbag system would say “Are you sure?” before going off.
10. Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.
11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary) even though they neither need them or want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car’s performance to diminish by 50% or more.
Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.
12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.
13. You’d press the “start” button to shut off the engine.
Do you lick envelopes to seal them?
If you lick your envelopes…You won’t anymore!!!!!
A woman was working in a post office in California, one day she licked the envelopes and postage stamps instead of using a sponge. That very day the lady cut her tongue on the envelope.
A week later, she noticed an abnormal swelling of her tongue. She went to the doctor, and they found nothing wrong. Her tongue was not sore or anything.
A couple of days later, her tongue started to swell more, and it began to get really sore, so sore, that she could not eat. She went back to the hospital, and demanded something be done.
The doctor, took an x-ray of her tongue, and noticed a lump. He prepared her for minor surgery. When the doctor cut her tongue open, a live roach crawled out. There were roach eggs on the seal of the envelope. The egg was able to hatch inside of her tongue, because of her saliva. It was warm and moist.
This is a true story reported on CNN
Andy Hume wrote:
Hey, I used to work in an envelope factory. You wouldn’t believe the things that float around in those gum applicator trays. I haven’t licked an envelope for years.
Interesting Facts
1.If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
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2.If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
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3.The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
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4.A pig’s orgasm lasts 30 minutes.
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5.A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death.
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6.Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
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7.The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male’s head off.
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8.The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It’s like a human jumping the length of a football field.
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9.The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.
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10.Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
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11.Butterflies taste with their feet.
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12.The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
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13.Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed
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14.Elephants are the only animal that cannot jump.
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15.A cat’s urine glows under a black light.
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16.An ostrich’s eye is bigger than its brain.
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17.Star fish have no brains.
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18.Polar bears are left-handed.
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19.Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
The American Flag
Do you know that at military funerals, the 21 gun salute actually stands for the sum of the numbers in the year 1776? I hope you have noticed the honor guard pays meticulous attention to correctly folding the American flag 13 times? You probably thought it was to symbolize the original 13 colonies, but we learn something new every day!Be surprised at the following only because “they” quit teaching this around 1955 in public schools… some of you out there might remember.
- The 1st fold of our flag is a symbol of life.
- The 2nd fold is a symbol of our belief in eternal life.
- The 3rd fold is made in honor and remembrance of the veterans departing our ranks who gave a portion of their lives for the defense of our country to attain peace throughout the world.
- The 4th fold represents our weaker nature, for as American citizens trusting in God, it is to Him we turn in times of peace as well as in time of war for His divine guidance.
- The 5th fold is a tribute to our country, for in the words of Stephen Decaur, “Our Country, in dealing with other right; but it is still our country, right or wrong.”
- The 6th fold is for where our hearts lie. It is with our hearts that, “We pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States Of America, and to the Republic for which it stands, one Nation under God, indivisible, with Liberty and Justice for all.”
- The 7th fold is a tribute to our Armed Forces, for it is through the Armed Forces that we protect our country and our flag against all her enemies, whether they be found within or without the boundaries of our republic.
- The 8th fold is a tribute to the one who entered into the valley of the shadow of death, that we might see the light of day.
- The 9th fold is a tribute to womanhood, and Mothers. For it has been through their faith, their love, loyalty and devotion that the character of the men and women who have made this country great has been molded.
- The 10th fold is a tribute to the fathers, for they, too, have given their sons and daughters for the defense of our country since they were first born.
- The 11th fold represents the lower portion of the seal of King David and King Solomon and glorifies in the Hebrews’ eyes, the God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
- The 12th fold represents an emblem of eternity and glorifies, in the Christians’ eyes, God the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit.
- The 13th fold, or when the flag is completely folded, the stars are uppermost reminding us of our nation’s motto, “In God We Trust.”
After the flag is completely folded and tucked in, it takes on the appearance of a cocked hat, ever reminding us of the soldiers who served under General George Washington, and the sailors and marines who served under Captain John Paul Jones, who were followed by their comrades and shipmates in the Armed Forces of the United States, preserving for us the rights, privileges and freedoms we enjoy today.
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